Spouse discovered partner's role as guarantor for girlfriend's loan, leading to marriage threats.
Unfolding the Tangle of Sibling-like Friendship and Financial Obligations
Hey there, Sakhapress! I'm reaching out for some advice on an intricate mess I've found myself in.
I've been married for a decade, got two kiddos, got a cozy place, and we're doing just fine - or so it seems. My better half handles the finances, while I'm the queen of the house, ensuring everything runs smoothly. My spouse isn't big on credit and loans, so we've managed to keep our life debt-free, aside from the mortgage.
I've known this gal, Lena, since forever. We've seen each other through thick and thin, I could count on her even during the darkest days. Throughout the years, she stood by me like a rock, honestly I trust her as much as I trust myself. Lena's family was well off, yet she never flaunted it; in fact, she was the one who helped me out during those tough times, always there to lend a hand.
Fast-forward to after our first child's arrival, when I was struck by post-partum depression like a freight train. Lena swooped in to help, taking care of our son, offering ample support, and guiding me through the maze of the early parenting journey. At that point, my partne and I weren't exactly on the same page, but Lena managed to keep our family intact - encouraging me not to give up, saying that our son needed his dad around.
Over time, things smoothed out, and we even welcomed a second child. With each year, our friendship grew stronger, and Lena's business was thriving, too. But, being an entrepreneur isn't a walk in the park - she faced her fair share of troubles, even losing her apartment to mortgage it for recovery purposes.
A short while ago, Lena visited me frazzled and defeated. She confided in me about her latest predicament, and we talked till the sun went down, trying to come up with solutions while my better half was away on a business trip. I suggested she pursue a career in the public sector, where there's more stability and predictable income. But Lena insisted that she had the situation under control, only needing a financial push to sigh her plan into action.
I agreed to help her out - off the books, of course, so as not to burden my partner, or so I thought. I signed up to be Lena's guarantor for a five million dollar loan over four years. I believed in her determination and resilience, and I didn't want to see her face another setback. But it seems like I jumped the gun without giving it much thought.
While browsing my online bank account, my spouse stumbled upon Lena's loan and went ballistic. We've been silent for nearly three weeks now. He demands I cut ties with Lena or we call it quits on our marriage. It's just...I can't bear to disappoint her. She's doing better now, managing to make every single payment on time. Heck, she's planning to get the loan paid off early as soon as she can. The place I guarantee is mine, so it's just... I don't get it, why is he so rage-filled? What should I do?
Ahead, the Repercussions of My Rash Move
Now that I've signed on the dotted line, betting on a friend's business success comes with severe financial and legal consequences, no matter the marital status or the unfolding of divorce proceedings. Without diving too deep into the legal weeds, here's the gist:
- Twin Accountability: As my spouse and I become legally co-responsible for the loan - even without receiving the funds, we jointly face the obligations and consequences should the primary borrower (Lena) default on her payments.
- Divorce Fallout: During the divorce process, my shared liability does not automatically end - unless I renegotiate the loan agreements, engage in refinancing, or pay off the loan. In this way, I remain liable, regardless of the asset division or marital settlement.
- Financial and Credit Damage: Ignoring loan repayments can lead to a tasty cocktail of troubles, including reduced credit ratings, wage garnishment, and escalating legal actions. Such repercussions are unavoidable, tormenting even the cleanest of credit profiles.
Given this information, I'm back at square one, trying to determine what to do - stand by my friend and disregard my spouse's anger, or reconsider my choices to salvage the marriage. But where do I go from here? Guidance is much appreciated, Sakhapress!
In the midst of grappling with the consequences of my rash decision, I find myself at a crossroads, torn between standing by my friend and preserving my marriage. My action, despite being off the books, has inadvertently subjected me and my spouse to joint financial and legal obligations due to co-responsibility for a five million dollar loan. Furthermore, this liability persists during the divorce process, unless renegotiated, refinanced, or paid off, potentially affecting our credit ratings, leading to wage garnishment, and triggering legal actions. Thus, I am seeking advice to navigate this intricate family-dynamics situation, as it impacts not only my relationships with my spouse and Lena, but also my lifestyle and financial future.
